Minnesota Twins

The Starting Lineup

Name Nicknames Bats Pos Avg HR Pwr Sp Ct
Dan Gladden None Right LF .281 8 759 140 20
Gary Gaetti GAR!!!! Right 3B .257 31 891 130 25
Kirby Puckett Fuck It Right CF .332 28 822 134 6
Ken Hrbek Home Run Bek Left 1B .285 34 894 120 16
Tom Brunansky Bruno Right RF .259 32 906 130 23
Greg Gagne Gag Me Right SS .265 10 807 124 22
Tim Laudner Laundromat Right C .225 16 879 120 34
Steve Lombardozzi None Right 2B .238 8 789 124 31

The Bench

Name Nicknames Bats Avg. HR Pwr Sp Ct
Roy Smalley None Left .275 8 759 120 18
Mark Davidson None Right .267 1 744 132 22
Randy Bush Vagina Left .253 11 789 130 26
Gene Larkin Dee-Nee! Left .266 4 771 122 22

The Staff

Name Nicknames Arm ERA Sf Sr Ss Cl Cr Dr En
Frank Viola None Left 2.90 194 173 153 4 9 6 40
Bert Blyleven Bertus Right 1.45 184 165 160 10 6 9 54
Juan Berenguer Senor Smoke Right 1.38 216 184 152 4 2 6 12
Jeff Reardon None Right 1.92 197 178 146 8 5 5 14

Team Synopsis, by Potsie


Bert Blyleven is the man. Start with him and you're good for at least 7 innings. Even if he gives up a lot of runs early you must have faith in him. He is the only pitcher to have a faster 7th inning pitch than his first pitch of the game. If you must use another pitcher put in Berenguer who has a very nice fastball. Other than that I almost never use the other 2 pitchers. They could be good but I really don't know.

The Lineup

  1. Sub Bush for Danny Gladden. Danny Gladden fucking sucks, do not ever leave him in. Randy Bush has a lot of power and pretty good speed. He is typically good for a few homers and the occasional hit.

  2. Garrrrrrrrrrr. He is the only reason I play with this team and his nickname is spelled with 11 r's. He used to be the fucking man but lately he's been slumping. He usually is good for a homerun or two.

  3. Kirby Pucket is not that good. His stats are way to good for his performance. He has his moments but other than that he is an average number three hitter.

  4. Kent Hrbek has some power but I have yet to have a really good game. When he hits a homerun he hits the piss out of it and he doesn't it's almost always an out.

  5. Bruno has a lot of power and is probably the most consistent hitter on the team. He hits a lot of homers and gets a decent amount of hits.

  6. Sub Roy Smalley for Gagne. He's really not the best hitter but is better than Gagne. If he doesn't hit a homerun in the first at bat don't expect much from him for the rest of the game.

  7. Laudner is capable of a powerful game but unfortunately he doesn't show up every time. He used to be the man, but as of late he doesn't do his nickname justice. If he was more consistent he would be one of the best number seven hitters in the game.

  8. Dee Nee!!. Gene Larkin is the inspiration for this line. He's not the greatest hitter but is known for the occasional homerun

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