Minnesota Twins

The Starting Lineup

Name Nicknames Bats Pos Avg HR Pwr Sp Ct
Dan Gladden None Right LF .281 8 759 140 20
Gary Gaetti GAR!!!! Right 3B .257 31 891 130 25
Kirby Puckett Fuck It Right CF .332 28 822 134 6
Ken Hrbek Home Run Bek Left 1B .285 34 894 120 16
Tom Brunansky Bruno Right RF .259 32 906 130 23
Greg Gagne Gag Me Right SS .265 10 807 124 22
Tim Laudner Laundromat Right C .225 16 879 120 34
Steve Lombardozzi None Right 2B .238 8 789 124 31

The Bench

Name Nicknames Bats Avg. HR Pwr Sp Ct
Roy Smalley None Left .275 8 759 120 18
Mark Davidson None Right .267 1 744 132 22
Randy Bush Vagina Left .253 11 789 130 26
Gene Larkin Dee-Nee! Left .266 4 771 122 22

The Staff

Name Nicknames Arm ERA Sf Sr Ss Cl Cr Dr En
Frank Viola None Left 2.90 194 173 153 4 9 6 40
Bert Blyleven Bertus Right 1.45 184 165 160 10 6 9 54
Juan Berenguer Senor Smoke Right 1.38 216 184 152 4 2 6 12
Jeff Reardon None Right 1.92 197 178 146 8 5 5 14

Team Synopsis, by Gantry

Last update 5/9/2004
Click here for Potsie's old synopsis

Minnesota is a tier-two team in straight pitch. They don't have the offensive muscle to beat the Big Three consistently, but can be competitive on any given day. Their pitching is diverse and effective, while their bench is extremely subpar. You need production out of the middle of the order and some crafty pitching to come out on top...


You gotta love Bert Blyleven, he kicks butt in both styles. In curve has has a ton of movement and in straight he can pitch forever. He does have the highest endurance rating in the game, so he can get you an extra inning or so. Sometimes Blyleven is throwing faster in the 5th inning than in the frist. Viola is a lefty, which definitely comes in handy. Even if it's for the one-batter clutch lefty-batter out, he should make an appearance. Senor Smoke throws very very fast , but has no movement or endurance. Great way to get another clutch out, as he's very hard to time at first. Reardon is a decent, but not great, reliever. All-in-all the Twins have a potent staff that can cause matchup problems in either style...

The Lineup

  1. Sub that piece of shit Gladden immediately. Right-handed and no power, the worst of both worlds. You definitely want to bring in Minnesota's top sub, Randy Bush. Bush is Gladdens polar opposite - a lefty with power. He hits homers and gets on base, making Vagina a solid all-around player.

  2. Ahhh, the Gar... When batting with Gaetti, you should be yelling "GAR!" on just about every swing. He and Doug Decinces were separated at birth - slow, righty and prone to the double play. He does have the power stroke though, and makes this team much stronger when he's leaving the park. Consistency is his biggest problem.

  3. Kirby Pucket is, without a doubt, the most disappointing player in RBI Baseball. His stats tremendous, yet he can't get on fucking base. He's a complete waste of space, but occasionally has his moments. Don't expect much, yet he has to stay in. If were just a guy who was .270 and 12 homers (which is how he hits) I don't think I'd have such a problem with him...

  4. Kent Hrbek is one of RBI's most underrated players. A lefty with a VERY big bat, he's easily the best player on this team. He ain't the quickest of players, but his power speaks for itself. Everything should be for the fences with Hrbek, and he'll deliver most of the time.

  5. There's a pretty large Brunansky fanbase on the forums - some even think he's one of the top five hitters in the game. I won't go that far, but he is a solid player. I wouldn't put him in Jim Rice's league, but he has a shitload of power. He and Hrbek are the keys to winning with Minnesota. Score with them and score often...

  6. This is where Minnesota really starts to go downhill. You have a piece of crap here with Gagne, yet your only other respectable sub (Gene Larkin) has to go in for the even worse Lombardozzi at #8. So it's either a total sack of crap with Gagne or sub in the total sack of crap Roy Smalley. I usually bring Smalley in, yet I don't know why. He never does anything for me. So expect nothing here...

  7. "Laudner is capable of a powerful game but unfortunately he doesn't show up every time" - Potsie said it best in his review. The Laundromat can be huge, but he can also lay an egg depending on his mood. So basically he is like every other seven hitter in the game. They are all hit or miss...

  8. Dee Nee!!. It was that fateful day back in college when Potsie uttered Dee-Nee for the first time. It was to sub in Gene Larkin for the worthless Steve Lombardozzi. The rest is RBI History! I will never say anything bad about Gene "Dee-Nee" Larkin and I suggest you all do the same...

The Rest

While you should put Randy Bush and Gene Larkin in immediately, the ass-end of the Minnesota bench shouldn't see much action. You can be an idiot like me and put Smalley in at the six spot. He is lefty, which I guess helps minimize double-plays. But he is terrible, and Davidson is worse. Davidson is strictly a end of the game pitcher sub. And expect an out when you bring him in...

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